Flow, Happiness & Therapy: Why “Play Therapy” for Adults Is Urgently Needed
Neurophysiology meets Schema Therapy
The term “flow” has long entered everyday language.
We talk about “work flow,” about being “in flow,” or about struggling to “find the flow.”
Its popularity is not just a linguistic trend - it reflects a recurring experience: in this state, people function and feel differently - simply better.
Flow is not a vague sense of well-being; it is a clearly definable neurophysiological state with measurable effects on well-being, learning capacity, and psychological stability.
Stress-related networks are inhibited, while attention- and learning-promoting systems are activated.
Self-monitoring takes a backseat, perception becomes focused, and action flows smoothly.
Flow is no accident. It can, in principle, be learned - and that is precisely why it has therapeutic relevance.
Applications already exist that leverage these insights. In the UK, surfing combined with psychotherapy is successfully used to treat depression and trauma-related disorders. (Although the Surfing happens in Morocco - it would otherwise be too cold I guess). Large corporations, too, have long been interested in the flow state - not for humanitarian reasons, but because a regulated nervous system is more efficient.
Neurobiologically, the brain typically takes 15-20 minutes to reach a stable flow state. In this phase, everything „magically“ falls into place: the next move in a game, the next stride in a run, the next motion in dancing with or without a hula-hoop.
Before this, the brain is preoccupied with control - evaluating, self-correcting, and questioning whether it can “afford” taking a break from constant monitoring.
Flow begins when these processes recede. In short: when letting go becomes possible.
This is the central challenge of flow:
it produces effects that feel almost magical, yet it cannot be summoned on demand.
The cycle - Struggle → Release → Flow → Recovery - must be experienced anew each time.
The more forcefully flow is pursued, the less likely it is to occur.
Some people, through years of practice, enter flow strikingly quickly. Watching an artist seemingly dissolve effortlessly into their craft within seconds is mesmerizing. Yet the underlying rule remains:
it takes effort first to appear effortless later.
Technical interventions can also influence how quickly or deeply flow is reached - for example, transcranial magnetic stimulation, which temporarily inhibits prefrontal control areas, reducing self-evaluation and facilitating creative thinking. Yet in everyday life, neither magnetically “switched-off” control centers nor endlessly long lunch breaks are practical solutions (or are they?).
The decisive variable remains: the ability to temporarily relinquish control.
Why Flow Belongs in Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy aims to make symptoms understandable, interrupt dysfunctional patterns, and open new behavioral options. Flow-inducing activities - juggling, dancing, making or listening to music, writing, or other creative-physical practices - create somatic spaces in which regulation and self-efficacy can be experienced before they are cognitively reflected upon.
These experiences do not replace talk therapy - they enhance it.
Flow functions as embodied experience that can later be integrated verbally.
In other words: first we experience, then we articulate.
Regularly practiced flow states stabilize therapeutic processes because they have neurobiological effects. Insight alone rarely changes neural networks; repeated experience does.
Flow stands for:
Self-regulation instead of avoidance
Competence in the face of fear instead of fear control
Internalized security instead of constant cognitive oversight
Neuroplasticity through repetition, not analysis alone
Flow is not escapism. Flow is practiced self-regulation.
Neurochemistry, Not Magic
Flow is accompanied by a characteristic neurochemical constellation in perfect balance:
Dopamine: enhances motivation and goal engagement
Norepinephrine: increases focus and responsiveness
Endorphins: reduce pain and promote relaxation
Anandamide: reduces anxiety and supports pattern recognition
Serotonin: stabilizes mood and long-term regulation
The result: reduced rumination alongside increased cognitive flexibility. Catastrophizing loses dominance; problem-solving gains space. Not supernatural - simply functional biology.
Schema-Therapeutic Perspective: Flow as Cooperation of Inner Parts
From a schema therapy perspective, flow arises where multiple internal systems work constructively together: a sufficiently regulated autonomic nervous system, a curious inner child, a limiting but not dominating inner critic, and a present healthy adult.
Flow training supports several layers:
Inner Child: joyful exploration despite arousal, risk-taking without punishment
Inner Critic: perfectionism becomes functional precision; caution becomes foresight rather than avoidance
Healthy Adult: interprets struggle as a normal part of the cycle, deriving realistic actions (sleep, recovery, varied learning, new stimuli)
Autonomic Nervous System: regulation through action, not rumination
Instead of overthinking and blocking oneself, curiosity, caution, and the need for safety are integrated into action. The inner critic learns: control does not always protect - sometimes it prevents growth.
Why Flow Makes Us Emotionally Braver
Flow does not eliminate fear - it changes how we respond to it.
The nervous system forms new connections:
arousal - racing heart, faster breathing, heightened perception - is no longer automatically interpreted as danger, but as what it truly is: energy available for action.
The heart can pound, yet running, dancing, or performing continues.
Control shifts from purely cognitive monitoring (“I must avoid my heart racing”)
to immediate bodily experience (“a racing heart does not automatically mean danger”).
What once seemed impossible - stitching without overthinking, riding a wave, or spinning a hoop in front of an audience - becomes achievable through practice both in and outside of flow.
Even everyday challenges, like waiting in line or speaking in public, become easier - as a natural byproduct of repeated, regulated experience.
The nervous system repurposes itself:
fear-based pathways lose dominance, while functional networks take over. Activation no longer automatically triggers flight or panic, but can be consciously managed and used for effective action.
The Cycle: Struggle → Release → Flow → Recovery → Repeat
Flow contradicts the widespread performance narrative that constant effort produces improvement. Paradoxically, it enhances competence more sustainably than pressure or constant self-optimization ever could.
Struggle is not a mistake
Recovery is not weakness
Flow is not a permanent state
Escaping only into pleasurable states (“bliss junkism”) undermines the process.
Flow is training - and training involves friction.
It is not perfection that produces flow. Permission does.
Joy as a Mechanism
Joy is not decorative; it is neurobiologically functional. It makes sense!
Neuroplasticity responds more strongly to states of safety and positive arousal than to pressure.
Joy stabilizes new synaptic patterns
Joy weakens the grip of fear-based networks
Joy accelerates learning
Joy is not a reward after work - it is the engine that makes work possible.
Conclusion: Flow as the Practice of Letting Go
Flow does not replace psychotherapy - it expands it in ways words alone cannot.
It is not constant, but cultivable.
Not magical (or is it?), but systemic.
Not escapist, but developmentally enriching.
Many invest enormous energy in trying to improve. Flow reminds us of an often uncomfortable truth: improvement often comes not through more control, but through practicing letting go.
The balance we seek is not imposed from the outside - it is built from within.
Through playful yet disciplined practice,
through loving repetition,
working with our nervous system, not against it.
